If you have read any of my stuff on HOCD before, you will know that I have an online course to help you. Then your brain has to do something else with this new information coming in. If you have never really thought about the OCD part of HOCD, it’s something you should learn more about, as that’s the part of your thought processes that you can learn to have control over. You are almost asking for a sexual response, except you are not doing it on purpose. Your best bet to defeat this sexual obsession OCD would be to distract yourself. Your amygdala comes into play. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes. Once you really … Once you gain control, the emotion starts to fade. hey FSBHM. There are ways however, to feel more attracted to your partner again: 1. I’m good enough, no better or no worse than you. Why do women flip their hair when … The random thoughts that pop into your head, or my head are involuntary,  you have no control over this, as you will have seen if you took a minute and let your mind wander as I suggested above. You get them because you are human and the way that the mind works. Im hoping this is just a symptom of HOCD, which can lower sex drive/desire and make you very confused about your sexuality. Im hoping this is just a symptom of HOCD, which can lower sex drive/desire and make you very confused about your sexuality. Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. (or the opposite or you are a women) yes..you have no idea what your mind capable of doing..your hocd … People with HOCD can be affected enough by their intrusive thoughts that they quit jobs, make dramatic life changes, or end relationships in order to avoid triggering their symptoms. Unfortunately, for the good women who are trying to create a healthy relationship with a man and keep him, this little secret is causing a lot of pain and frustration. I was constantly testing myself on pictures of girls and I had … They create a nagging doubt in your mind. Dear Jackie, sorry for another HOCD question (I am a straight male), I know HOCD can make you feel a loss of attraction to the sex you’ve always been attracted to, but can it make you … But still more than likely would enjoy being intimate with a woman and cuddling and stuff and kissing (but i cant find woman really physically attractive anymore)..i feel betrayed by my body/brain. She is Chartered with The British Psychological Society and is registered with The Health and Care Professions Council; HCPC. Or if you find that you watch gay porn to see if you are really gay. Like most other things that happen to you, sex occurs in the brain first! When you feel attracted to someone do they feel it too? Attraction is when you look at someone from across a crowded room and lock eyes. You might have started to question your sexuality, maybe you started to ‘do’ things to check it out for yourself, such as looking at members of the opposite sex to see if you could feel anything down there. i feel like if i do than i will accept them and become gay even though i … Think back to when this all started happening to you. If you would like my help, I have an online course to help with HOCD which is available immediately. There is emotion attached to them, if you felt nothing you probably wouldn’t notice them in the first place. If you have HOCD, these thoughts can come so often that, over time, it can become unbearable. Written By Dr Elaine Ryan Last updated on October 6, 2020 Filed Under: Homosexual OCD, Dr Elaine Ryan is the owner of MoodSmith® and writes all the articles personally. You can read more about Elaine here, If you or anyone you know are in crisis or a life threatening situation, don't use this site. Most gay people I know have some form of internalized homophobia even. The real stuff you do in the real world. You can do that by writing in a journal, meditating, or standing in front of a mirror and asking yourself questions about how you feel and how your day is going. People with HOCD can be affected enough by their intrusive thoughts that they quit jobs, make dramatic life changes, or end relationships in order to avoid triggering their symptoms. Part of the frustration with HOCD is that, once the intrusive thoughts are triggered, the person’s mind refuses to accept the reality that they have never been attracted to the opposite sex before. The difference between me and you though is, if you are struggling with unwanted thoughts, you are reacting to them as if they are true and this has to do with the meaning that you give to them and also because they might ‘stand out’ to you more than other random thoughts. I have given an extremely basic overview, but the point I want you to think about, is that for the response to happen in your groin, it is not the result of some moral code, it is something that occurs in a split second in your brain that is outside of your control. Use these resources to get immediate help, MoodSmith is a Registered Trademark of MoodSmith Ltd. Company registered in Northern Ireland. You can read more about Elaine here, If you or anyone you know are in crisis or a life threatening situation, don't use this site. Thoughts like these make you start second-guessing your memories, your behaviors, your attraction to the opposite sex, and your current and past relationships. It’s the nature of obsessions and compulsions. It is just a thought that I am capable of thinking. It is not a moral gate keeper to decide what you should or should not get aroused over! Own your mind. This can be visual – where you see something, or in your mind, when you think about something or an image pops into your head. Did it actually feel you were lesbian? There are too many scenarios to mention, but here’s the important bit. She is Chartered with The British Psychological Society and is registered with The Health and Care Professions Council; HCPC. Thought I would share the dialogue. And sadly, that filter never fails to twist and distort everything to make it appear as “evidence” that you’re really gay after all. According to Dr. Margaret Paul, a relationship expert who's appeared on Oprah and has her Ph.D. in psychology, initial physical attraction is a very poor indicator on how well a relationship will work out, which can lead to the feeling of abandonment . You could have noticed a glimmer of arousal at the same time there was someone of the same sex. For men, this can be just a feeling, or having an erection. Sometimes I think Im asexual because Im not always sure if Im feeling sexual attraction. Attraction can transform into a … Your best bet to defeat this sexual obsession OCD would be to distract yourself. If you believe that by putting something on-whatever it might be-it will make you more attractive to the opposite sex, your behavior will change. First of all, I am not a doctor and I can only tell you my opinion. OCD: You don’t actually like watermelon, you only THINK you … Sometimes I think Im asexual because Im not always sure if Im feeling sexual attraction. Hey. They do this to feel closer to you, and because they are interested in you and what you are saying. If you are concerned you might have HOCD, please check with a licensed mental health clinician. It is a recording of a webinar on panic attacks, but it explains threats clearly and will hopefully help you to understand what I mean. HOCD and feeling aroused – why does this happen? Realize that these experiences are there to teach you a very vital lesson about who you are and who you want to be in life. Dear Jackie, sorry for another HOCD question (I am a straight male), I know HOCD can make you feel a loss of attraction to the sex you’ve always been attracted to, but can it make you fearful of that sex? I’m going to have to really on your memory here, and let me start by saying that your memory is hugely unreliable! You can see what I mean by a threat in the video. Your brain quickly matches this with something that might hurt you and gives you the response that makes you feel stressed and scared to help you run away. I hadn't heard of HOCD before actually, though I knew it must be a form of OCD. Learn more about our online … Can you have HOCD and still be aroused by the members of the same sex? If you can show her you want her and respect her, you’re going to make her want you. Even if their brain is spewing incessant homosexual thoughts, biologically they aren’t attracted to the same sex. It’s not to difficult to trigger a sexual response in any of us. Back to what I was talking to you about. The simple truth is that nobody except those with HOCD pays any particular attention to their … This illness has stolen everything from me. You can check this out for yourself, just sit back and let your mind do it’s thing for the next minute. “Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished.” – John Gray 2. Attraction being one of them. 4.4K views A significant portion of an HOCD sufferer’s daily thoughts are unwanted homosexual ones. Remember how I said above, that the processes involved in your brain, are not some sort of moral gatekeeper? I may be away from my computer for 1-2 hours, but please feel free to respond to my follow-up questions and then when I get back we can continue this conversation. And if you lean back in your chair to cock your head to the side to think about it (as I have just done), that’s another set of messages in my (or your) network helping you to do this. A few fresh compliments can make you both feel special. yes. Now you might be thinking that’s a stupid example Elaine, that your thoughts are different, but they are not. HOCD thoughts feel real, does that mean they are true? Everyone, including me, gets random thoughts every day, all days. The only thing that says something about you as a person is how you choose to live your life. I can think I am a multi billionaire if I want, but unfortunately that’s not true. If you have never really thought about the OCD part of HOCD, it’s something you should learn more about, as that’s the part of your thought processes that you can learn to have control over. It’s the nature of obsessions and compulsions. This is something I hear a lot; if my HOCD thoughts feel real, does that mean that they are true, that they mean something? That's exactly what your anxiety wants. I read some of you say if its possible that hocd can make you feel like feminine? attraction and anxiety go hand in hand - it's very difficult to maintain attraction when you are suffering from anxiety. When the emotion has gone, they do not feel real, the thoughts have lost their grip on you. HOCD is one of the most troubling anxiety conditions. I used to have a terrible habit of staring at ALL girls and HOCD affects equally as many men and women whether gay, straight or bisexual. 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